I can't help it, I think she looks hot

I know everyone is in a uproar about Heidi's surgeries, but I think she looks kinda good. I mean I was a Heidi fan in the way early beginnings of the Hills and thought she was cute before - but what do I care if she mashes her face up, and why would you care either? She's from an MTV reality show, should we be that concerned about her plastic surgery? We've got other things to worry about, like her maniac, creepo husband. Don't get me wrong I kinda love Spencer too, but these are not my role models. So let them experiment with their faces, just like he does with that freaky blonde beard. I think she looks good, she's a younger, better version of what all the Housewives of OC want to be. I hope she does get bigger boobs. I hope they look like two giant watermellons under her sweater, and she needs a walker to help her stand up straight. And I hope she let's MTV film the surgery next time. All good stuff as far as I'm concerned.

Wordsworth

Since I'm too busy to have an original thought right now. I'll just copy someone else's work for your enjoyment.

The Washington Post recently published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

My favorite of course is testicle, see below.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled, by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4 esplanade. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Goodbye Oh' Nine!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!