Let's talk T.P.

Something really bothers me about people and toilet paper. It's not the empty roll I am often met with. It's not the messy overcompensated re-roll of the last user who was too excited apparently and yanked off more than she needed, then tried to reverse the roll, leaving a loose, saggy mess. No, I'm talkin about the backward roller. Toilet paper rolls are meant to be grabbed from the top down -- didn't you know? When someone puts the toilet paper in the roll backwards, and I am made to yank behind the roll, or roll in reverse, it royally f's up my day. It's just plain rude. I once called out an ex boyfriend of mine -- when I was confronted with the incorrectly loaded T.P. roll in his bathroom -- that he had it all wrong. He went into such a state of confusion, and then, in a moment of unfamiliar clarity, realized that what I was saying made complete sense. He later told me (long after our relationship had ended) that every time he changes his T.P. he thinks of me. Sweet. Glad I could help.

So from now on, just remember: load (haha, no pun there) the goods so the end piece rests on top, and can be pulled forward. And I swear, if I go to any of your houses and that crap is the wrong way, I'm unraveling the entire thing and leaving it there, like a cottonelle rug.