Don’t plan your wedding anywhere near the holidays

Just because my whole family flew to Puerto Rico and stayed for a week, bought proper wedding attire and got me extravagant engagement and wedding gifts, they all think they don’t have to go big on Hanukah this year. To that I say, that’s not want G-D wants. The JOOOO G-D wants us to remember the story of the Macabees and how they fought the Romans – don’t really remember why exactly, but he wants us to remember that. And he wants us to commemorate how the JOOOOOOOs had to learn Hebrew with dreidels, betting with gold coins. G-D wants you to give me gold. It’s a mitzah after all. You will feel better about yourself if you get me good gifts for Hanukah. To make it easier for you, I’ve developed a list.

• HD TV for bedroom (This isn’t something I want, it’s actually something I need, since our current tv just kicked it)
• Sneakers (This is for gym use, so it’s actually more of a health thing than gift)
• Designer purse (my Belenciaga that may or may not have been stolen or faked - since I got it from a sketchy web site - lost a grommet, so I need a replacement and since I obviously can’t take it to a Belenciaga store (since it might be hot or fake), I need a replacement)
• iMac

Thanks guys