Everybody's talking about the recession. The Depression. The aggression. Blah Blah Blah. You know who's really to blame for this recession? The media, that's who. Not the banks. Last time I checked, my FDIC checking account has only dwindled in dollars because of my own spending habits, not because of some stupid broker getting a bonus check. No, the media is to blame (earmuffs, Pants, I'm about to let loose).
The media with all of this sad, depressing, woe is us crap. "So and so declared bankruptcy....so and so hung themselves in their office after learning their life savings had been depleted....so and so lost their job...." Well of course we are going to go into panic mode and stop spending our money and living our lives and being all commerce-able like usual!! On one channel you are telling me to save save save, b/c I should have 7000-times my mortgage in my bank account for a rainy day, or just in case the apocalypse happens, and then I switch channels and it's all "you better go out there and spend and tickle the old economy bone or else the world as we know it will crumble and it will all be your fault." Well which is it?? We are already a nation of confused, over-spending worker bees, and now it's all about Save! Spend! Save! Spend! The guilt alone could drive us all to drugs! Or worse - poverty!
I think the media should change course. Lie to the public, like they've always done in the past. Tell us how great things are. Tell us what we want - no, scratch that - what we NEED to hear to get off our fat arses and go back to life as usual. All I need is someone to tell me "Hey! Guess what!! It was all a bad dream! You can wake up now and go to Anthropologie and pick out something cute and spring-like to wear..." and I am there in 14 seconds flat with my Visa card cutting gashes into my tightly wound fist.
So all you media influencers...you twitterers, you facebookers and myspacers and writers and bloggers...let's try a new tactic. Let's try one of these stupid chain messages, okay? Copy and paste this message into your blog, or email, or page or whatever, and send it out to everyone you know. Be a real influencer.
"The recession is over! Spring has sprung! It was all blown out of proportion. We can go back to normal life. Go back to your old boss who fired your ass and tell him you will not hold it against him and then just go sit back down at your old desk, where your stapler still resides. Get out there to the mall and buy some new spring duds. Stop making your kids eat the crap grocery store brand of cereal. Pick up the tab for that gaggle of ho's at the club. And whatever you do, don't break this chain mail, or you will be subject to clipping coupons and drinking Bud light for the rest of your days..."
The media with all of this sad, depressing, woe is us crap. "So and so declared bankruptcy....so and so hung themselves in their office after learning their life savings had been depleted....so and so lost their job...." Well of course we are going to go into panic mode and stop spending our money and living our lives and being all commerce-able like usual!! On one channel you are telling me to save save save, b/c I should have 7000-times my mortgage in my bank account for a rainy day, or just in case the apocalypse happens, and then I switch channels and it's all "you better go out there and spend and tickle the old economy bone or else the world as we know it will crumble and it will all be your fault." Well which is it?? We are already a nation of confused, over-spending worker bees, and now it's all about Save! Spend! Save! Spend! The guilt alone could drive us all to drugs! Or worse - poverty!
I think the media should change course. Lie to the public, like they've always done in the past. Tell us how great things are. Tell us what we want - no, scratch that - what we NEED to hear to get off our fat arses and go back to life as usual. All I need is someone to tell me "Hey! Guess what!! It was all a bad dream! You can wake up now and go to Anthropologie and pick out something cute and spring-like to wear..." and I am there in 14 seconds flat with my Visa card cutting gashes into my tightly wound fist.
So all you media influencers...you twitterers, you facebookers and myspacers and writers and bloggers...let's try a new tactic. Let's try one of these stupid chain messages, okay? Copy and paste this message into your blog, or email, or page or whatever, and send it out to everyone you know. Be a real influencer.
"The recession is over! Spring has sprung! It was all blown out of proportion. We can go back to normal life. Go back to your old boss who fired your ass and tell him you will not hold it against him and then just go sit back down at your old desk, where your stapler still resides. Get out there to the mall and buy some new spring duds. Stop making your kids eat the crap grocery store brand of cereal. Pick up the tab for that gaggle of ho's at the club. And whatever you do, don't break this chain mail, or you will be subject to clipping coupons and drinking Bud light for the rest of your days..."
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