1) To all the businesses I've dissed on my @westchesterlife twitter acct...I hope that rather than my negative tweets killing your profits, you instead have taken my advice and made some changes to be better at what you do.
2) To the rabbit we killed in the car the other night. We saw you in the middle of the highway, and H-ette didn't slow down, because honestly you were looking right at us and we thought you were gonna hop on outta the way, and you didn't, and then it was too late, and we heard you under our tire, and I cried, and H-ette tried to console me. And I gave you a Twitter eulogy, but I'm still sorry, b/c you were somebunny's baby. Or momma.
3) To Stewpart, my brother's dog, for making jokes at your expense and telling everyone how annoying you are. You just wanna be loved -- even sucky dogs deserve love.
4) To the guy who gave me the shoulder massage at the nail salon the other day. You SO went above and beyond the 1 minute freebie and gave me a full on, 10 minute neck rub. You rocked. And I didn't tip you. My nails were still wet and I had already tipped the manicurist. And quite frankly, I just didn't want to smudge. I apologize. I owe ya one -- not a massage, but maybe a buck or two.
5) To the big G-O-D. I had coffee today. I suck, I know. I don't even have the willpower to starve myself for a freakin' day. I made that coffee and I knew the whole time I was crushing my beans, and filling the pot reservoir that what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway. And it tasted really good. Amen.
2) To the rabbit we killed in the car the other night. We saw you in the middle of the highway, and H-ette didn't slow down, because honestly you were looking right at us and we thought you were gonna hop on outta the way, and you didn't, and then it was too late, and we heard you under our tire, and I cried, and H-ette tried to console me. And I gave you a Twitter eulogy, but I'm still sorry, b/c you were somebunny's baby. Or momma.
3) To Stewpart, my brother's dog, for making jokes at your expense and telling everyone how annoying you are. You just wanna be loved -- even sucky dogs deserve love.
4) To the guy who gave me the shoulder massage at the nail salon the other day. You SO went above and beyond the 1 minute freebie and gave me a full on, 10 minute neck rub. You rocked. And I didn't tip you. My nails were still wet and I had already tipped the manicurist. And quite frankly, I just didn't want to smudge. I apologize. I owe ya one -- not a massage, but maybe a buck or two.
5) To the big G-O-D. I had coffee today. I suck, I know. I don't even have the willpower to starve myself for a freakin' day. I made that coffee and I knew the whole time I was crushing my beans, and filling the pot reservoir that what I was doing was wrong, but I did it anyway. And it tasted really good. Amen.
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1 comment:
ARRRRRHHHHHGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!
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