Sorry

Yom Kippur is tomorrow, and that's the day when good Jews begin a 24-hour fast and ask for forgiveness from friends and family in the hopes that the big guy upstairs will absolve you and write your name in the book of life for another year. Well I have a pretty big November coming up and it would be best if I were alive for that, so I'm going to try to get all my repenting out of the way early. Here's all my bad deeds and I'm sorry's. Hope you will forgive me.

• Sorry Bam for planning to leave you with the crazy chihuahua guy who wants you to sleep in his bed
• Sorry about the whole no tv in barbados thing sisette's nanny
• Sorry to all the annoying facebook people for calling you annoying
• Sorry to Ette2 for being a lazy blog partner
• Sorry to Pants for threatening to leave you if you air horn me, although seriously I will, so think hard about that
• Sorry friendly Doorman for pretending to listen to music when I walk in the building to avoid talking to you
• Sorry ass for not bringing you to the gym more like I promised
• Sorry Megan Fox for pointing out your toe thumbs
• Sorry book club for basically just skimming the first chapter of the last three books we read and then showing up to the discussion just for snacks
• Sorry to Project Runway for not watching you now that you are on Lifetime
• Sorry to the fat guy in the elevator who didn't move even an inch from his spot blocking the entire door when I needed to get out. He doesn't know why I'm apologizing, but let's just say I had some not nice thoughts
• Sorry for hating cats and Renee Zellweger and Ryan Seacrest

I seriously think that's it. But for safety, I'll say this. I may not be perfect, I may write snarky things that may hurt someone's feelings behind their back - but it also probably makes someone else laugh - so can we just call it even? Thanks and hope you all have an easy fast!