Pants and I were watching some stupid prank show on MTV in which half of the segments revolve around some mentally challenged person blasting an air horn into another person's ear. Of course the blastee freaks out and screams and then realizes that the person they hang out with is an idiot and kind of a dick. And the blaster on tv laughs and laughs, and then I look over at Pants and he's rolling around on the floor, also laughing uncontrollably. I seriously don't get it. Pants is smart, and successful and generally pretty mature, but there is something about an air horn that brings out the 12-year-old boy in him and it's his dream to get his hands on one. He actually said that all he wants in life is to sneak up on me some time when I'm really concentrating on something and horn me. It makes me reconsider the whole marriage thing. Air horning your wife is like as bad as smashing cake in her face at the wedding. It's like pantsing her in public. It's like the worst thing you can possibly do I think. So Pants this is official warning. I will pre-vorce you so fast you won't know what's coming. And if somehow you do get your hands on a horn and you do get me, I will not only leave you, I will get revenge first. I have your logins buddy. Your facebook picture will be that time you ... I'm so serious. Don't do it.
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