Facebook is not your pulpit

I love Facebook. I love the communication, the ability to find long lost relatives and high school friends and the sharing that ensues. Because that's really what's all about, when you get right down to it, right? Curiousity about how other's lives turned out, and how to be part of people's lives again in a very controlled environment. And if we were a selfish, controlling generation of people before, now we're sharing and caring and posting photos of all our loved ones and favorite holidays and sending people stupid little digital gifts of "margaritas" and "winks" and cutesy shit like that. But I like it, I think it's reshaping our jaded, self-centered worlds and making us more giving and acute. Even if all we're giving is a stupid virtual, fake cocktail. It's sharing, and sharing is caring. And I'm on board.

But please. Facebook updates are not for sharing your spiritual awakenings with me, because I'm not interested, and I will delete you from my friend database. They are not for telling me that God granted us a beautiful day and I should go to church and thank him. They are for telling me that you burned the brownies and you aren't the Betty Crocker you thought you were; or that you spent too long in the sun without sunblock and now feel guilty and crispy. Or that your hangover hurts like hell. But please...let's keep God out of it. I don't want to read your updates and hear messages from scripture. Seriously. Save it for talking about your kids boogers or farts. Or hangovers. That's what it's all about. Okay?