Because I've lost my status with the gays, that's why. I moved up to suburbia where gay men are about as rare as Vietnamese food. This pains me because I love my gays - I love them almost as much as Kathy Griffin does. Who doesn't love having a real husband and a gay husband?? The real one has to lie to you and tell you how good you look in those jeans...god forbid he tells you your ass looks like cottage cheese under pressure. But a gay husband? It's his calling in LIFE to tell you your booty is about to burst and to retire the size 4's. And you take his goading in stride - you laugh, you shrug, you agree with him. And then you go buy shoes together because those always fit. These are NOT real-husband activities. God no. Ette1, learn from my mistakes, and get ye a gay husband STAT.
Under previous circumstances I would have SO been nominated for the Miss Fag Hag pageant. But alas, I'm no longer "relevant" and thus had to retire my crown to these hags. Good luck, bitches, I envy you all.
This post is in honor of my number one all-time favorite gay husband Thomas. You are sorely missed....
Under previous circumstances I would have SO been nominated for the Miss Fag Hag pageant. But alas, I'm no longer "relevant" and thus had to retire my crown to these hags. Good luck, bitches, I envy you all.
This post is in honor of my number one all-time favorite gay husband Thomas. You are sorely missed....
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