Bronx Mowgli Wentz

That is the name Ashley Simpson and Pete Wentz named their little dude, born a couple weeks ago. I know news sometimes travels slow across the ole' internets, and I am just catching word of this naming. Here are my thoughts: Bronx in and of itself is kind of badass. It's where H-ette was born, so it would make some sense if he and I named our kid Bronx. I would never do that to a child, b/c children have hard times pronouncing X's and it would come out sounding like a phlegmy booger. Bwonchgghsth. Ew. Now neither Pete nor Assley is from the Bronx. I am venturing a guess that neither of them have ever BEEN to the Bronx, and I would like to note that a visit would have been in order before naming your firstborn after such a place. Have you been to Arthur Avenue lately? Have you even heard of it? How about Yankee Stadium?

Now on to Mowgli. Again, this is a name not easily pronounced by kids between the ages of 2 and 15. It also takes on a phlegmy aspect. It may be a reference to The Jungle Book, however I can think of a couple names from that tale that would have been better than Mowgli. Like Father Wolf, or Nag, or Baloo. Mowgli makes me think of hogwarts. And being a kid and having a name that brings to mind hogs or warts is bad news.

In my opinion, this kid would have been better off with one of the following names:

• Jungle Juice Jerry
• Gasious Clay
• Peter Eater Jr.
  
• Surprise! Boy
• Iam Gay
• Bland Tastebud