End of the World

So this month I read The Road by Cormac McCarthy for book club. I f-ing loved the book. I probably shouldn't be sharing this with you readerettes, as we haven't officially met on the book yet - so I'm sort of killing the hype before the big event, but whatev. Anyway, I read the book in about 4 hours, I couldn't put it down, H-ette could have told me the house was on fire, or my favorite Marc Jacobs shoes were being eaten by the dog and I probably wouldn't have budged. My eyes were dry afterward, b/c I blinked less - that's how much I liked this book.

Now don't get me wrong - this wasn't a warm and fuzzy number. But it got me thinking about what will happen when the shit hits the fan. This is something that H-ette thinks about - he sometimes gets conspiracy theorist on me...but it's okay, I'm totally picking up what he's putting down. So a few months ago, we went to Target and stocked up on a couple 12 packs of bottled water and like 10 cans of food. Oh, and a little first aid kit. And we thought we were set. After reading this book, I sort of realize that that would have gotten us through about an afternoon, so we'd be dead - siyonara.

So I've decided that I want H-ette to build me a bomb shelter. We have an acre and a half - we have plenty of space to dig - H-ette wants a pool, I say F the pool - give a girl a bomb shelter, and make it smart and snappy. Here's what I want my underground concrete palace to include:

1. I want technology down there - if I'm gonna be stuck in a hole I want dimmer switches (simulated day/night) and iPizzle and loads of DVD's.
   
2. I want like 100 crossword puzzle books. There's no point in dumbing it down just b/c I'm stuck in a hole. Must. Keep. Mind. Happy.
   
3. Tempurpedic bed. Why should my back suffer just b/c the world has ended?
4. A lifetime supply of Reeses Pieces, Reeses peanut butter cups, Snickers, cookie dough, carrot cake and brownies (made by my next door neighbor's kids - they make some sick brownies). Oh, and Annie's Organic mac and cheese. I'm stuck in a hole - who the hell cares if I get fat?
5. Wallpaper - now's a good time to get creative on the home front - if I get bored of it, I don't really have anything else to do, I'll peel it off, inch by inch and start over.
6. Drugs -Now's a good time to try all those drugs I was always too scared to try. Why not? I'm stuck in a hole.
7. Lots and lots of wine and liquor. Stuck. In. hole. I want to be razzled.

Okay, h-ette. Let me know when it's ready. I invited Pants and One Kazzler up to share it with us, Big Love style. (Minus Bam.)