30 years old (14 years of which were spent in Hebrew school) and I still don't know the proper spelling of the damn festival of lights. And you know what? I blame the Jews. Yeah that's right, I said it. It's the Jews' fault that there's no proper spelling for Hannukah. Or Hanukkah. Or Chanukah. Or Channukkah. Or Hannuka. Which is it?!?!? My holiday cards always end up looking like an F-ed up dyslexia project. Happy...holidays. That's what I'm gonna start going with - I'll keep it generic, thus slowly rotting away my heritage and dismissing my religion - one holiday card at a time, b/c I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to spell Hanukkah.
Christians got it easy. C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S. That's it. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. It's Christ and mas. No one ever messes it up and spells it Christmass - because then you'd be a dumbass for calling Christ an ass. Or insinuating that Christ has become "mass" marketed. I mean, I'm just saying... Nope, I'm blaming the Jews this year. They need to get their act together. We need to rally together and get ourselves some videographers and take a stand on this whole Hanukkah thing. It's tearing us apart, people.
Christians got it easy. C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S. That's it. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. It's Christ and mas. No one ever messes it up and spells it Christmass - because then you'd be a dumbass for calling Christ an ass. Or insinuating that Christ has become "mass" marketed. I mean, I'm just saying... Nope, I'm blaming the Jews this year. They need to get their act together. We need to rally together and get ourselves some videographers and take a stand on this whole Hanukkah thing. It's tearing us apart, people.
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