I’ve learned the secret to making money in NY.

Let’s break it down:

Who has a lot of money to spend: UES yuppy couples with new kids

What do they want to spend money on: Their kids (and the servants who service their kids – maids, nannies, etc)

What makes them feel good about themselves: Finding activities that makes their kids happy and keeps them occupied

Enter:

The kiddie singer. Here’s how you achieve this:

• Put on a floppy hat and feather boa
• Add a few sequins for good measure
• Come up with 3-4 really dumb, but annoyingly catchy songs
• Include references to UES places the parents may already know, they love that
• Good signing voice not required
• Talent essentially not required
• Give yourself a stupid but catchy name, it should end in “ey”, and make it short so the kiddies can remember it
• Play at the 92nd street Y, especially on rainy days when the nannies can’t take the kids to the park, and also the local kid-friendly diner where you are bound to run into local kiddies and start a following amongst the nanny crowd

Kids have a knack for remembering catchy songs. Think about it, I bet you can sing every word to Twinkle Twinkle right now – but when’s the last time you sang that song? It’s burned into our brains at 2-year-old and stays with us. This is the same concept. Get the kids early with song and you own them and their parents at least for 5 years, the marketing options are endless. We’ll call this the “Barney Effect.”

So once you have those basics together, here’s how you make the money:

• Record a “cd” of your “music” and sell for 20 dollars a pop – parents will buy because their kid is already singing your songs and it puts them in their happy place and that puts the parents in theirs
• Offer your services for birthday parties – you’ll charge $500+ per appearance – parents will pay because you are a kiddie star and all the other parents will be jealous
• Quit your day job and enjoy watching the cash pile up

There you have it. Recession-proof business opportunities. You’re welcome.