Let's talk about the children's museum

It's complete bullshit.

Sisette and I took Angel Baby on Sunday, and it was the dumbest excursion of her young life. The place is called CMOM, should stand for Check this Mess Of a Museum. Nothing really museumy about it, its basically toys on a floor. Here are the lowlights:

• There are a couple of places where you press a button on the wall to hear something I guess but it was either broken or it was too freaking loud from screaming brats to be able to hear it.
  
• There was a sand pit with cups and plates in it, so obviously the kid made herself a little sand sandwich and sand milkshake and tried to eat it, we moved on to coloring.
• Not sure what we learned there, we sat on tiny kiddie chairs scribbled a line on a sheet and moved on.
  
• There was a slide, that was fun I guess.
• There were blocks on the floor, but only adults were building. One guy built a really high tower, both AB and I were definitely thinking the same thing, "I'd love to knock that thing down," Sisette caught that look in our eyes and shuffled us along to another area.
  
• There was one "exhibit" that was basically a wall and "museum guides" sprayed shaving cream on it and let the kids spread it around with their hands. Seriously, that was the whole thing, mush this cream on the wall. Good lesson there, "be totally disrespectful of your home and public places." We skipped that one.
• The best part of the whole day was the Dora floor. Kids freaking love Dora. AB kissed the wall with the Dora picture on it. But again, not really sure about what we learned there. There was another slide, and stuffed animals on the floor. There were drums, but an ugly brat pushed AB off the stool before she could play so that was out.

My suggestion for an alternative day of fun and learning for your little one: save the thirty bucks, put on Disney on demand and throw some toys on the floor. That's the whole experience, with fewer germs and kid snot, breast-feeding orthodox women and annoying NY parents.