It's Career Day here at Kvetchette

As some readerettes know, my dad was involved in a little work accident that left him with a bum middle finger – the upside is he like automatically flips everyone the bird since he can’t really bend it anymore and the downside is he can’t really do his old job anymore – which is really an upside because now he can find a newer, funner, more bad-ass career. The question is – what should his next move be? Not so easy to figure out a job for a brilliant guy who has limited writing skills in English since he’s a foreigner and basically can’t use his right hand.

Here’s what we came up with so far:

• Courtesy of Pineapple Express, Process Server: All he needs to do is drive around and hand over summons. This is awesome because he’d be kind of like Dog the Bounty Hunter, he can wear cool headbands and grow a mullet. And it’s so bad-ass to say, “you’ve been served.” He can drive around thinking of different accents to use when he says it.

• Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream tester: Screw my father, this is basically my dream job. Think of what your day would consist of. 9-10, Strawberry Sensation with yogurt-covered-pretzels mixed in. 11-12, Chocolate Thunder with malted milk balls. 2-4 Vanilla Ice Ice Baby with mini-chocolate chips in the shape of diamonds. Jeeze, some of these sound good, maybe I have a new career a-brewin – Ice Cream Developer.

• Books on Tape: He can record for basically any middle-eastern character. Jafar from Aladdin, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (the book), The Ten Commandments as Moses (Chartlon Heston didn’t even try to fake an accent), endless possibilities.

• Toll Taker: Don’t they make like a lot for basically sitting on their asses all day? And they get little tvs that they can watch the whole time, so he can keep up on his soaps.

• Marijuana Grower: Um, nuff said there, basically like the best job ever. Oh and one note, FP.

Good luck Dad!