The festival of fried foods

OK, this posting isn't funny but thought it would be informative...

You may not know it with all the Christmas trees and lights around and the annoying Christmas songs on the radio all the time, but Hanukkah begins next week. Also known as Chanukah, Hannukah or Hanukah. The Jewish holiday marks the re-dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem, and the miracle of the oil. The Maccabees (also known as tough-ass jews), led by Judah the Hammer, organized a revolt against the evil Romans (non-jews) who outlawed the practice of Judaism. And because they were so bad-ass they won. (Jews seems to have changed a bit since 200BCE, cause bad-ass isn’t maybe how I’d describe Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, but still). So after the victory they went down to the Temple to re-light the eternal flame except there was only enough consecrated oil to fuel the flame in the Temple for one day. Miraculously, the oil burned for eight days, which was the length of time it took to press, prepare and consecrate fresh olive oil. A miracle – if I ever heard one. So now we celebrate by lighting the menorah, eating fried foods and giving gifts. What could be better?

Hanukkah officially begins on the 4th
I’ll be enjoying my jelly donuts and unwrapping all of the excellent gifts I'll be receiving. Thanks in advance flan for the second large screen LCD for the bathroom that we've been discussing.