My trip to the DMV: Manhattan License X-Press Office:

Ain’t nothing "x-press" about it.

Went to DMV to change soon-to-be-expired license from Phila to NY address (only 6 years late)

• Enter express office, enjoy greeting from surly information desk attendant. Receive number, proceed to camera line:
• Wait in camera line, approximately 28 minutes
• Try to ignore heavy breather who is lurking behind my back in line, giving me the occasional nudge with his bag to show just how anxious he is to make the line move faster, a task for which I am not responsible obviously.
• Next in line, try to memorize eye chart in case eye sight fails and they make me go see a doctor for glasses
• Pass eye test and get picture taken (Done right? No)
• Take number, wait to be called
• Play brick breaker on blackberry (say that 5 times fast!) for 20 minutes
• Number called, yay
• Meet surly license person, hand over 20 forms of I.D. (Done right? No)
• Take number wait to be called
• Stare at wierdos around me, listen to surly greeter tell some poor non-English speaking man that he’s in the wrong building
• Resume brick breaker, gain high-score, approximately 33 minutes
• Number called, yay
• Meet surly license person whose personal, desk-top boom box is playing Jesus songs, hand over many forms of I.D.
• Pay $43.50 (Done right? No)
• Receive stupid paper temporary license
• Wait 3-4 weeks for real license to come in mail

The DMV sucks.