The Humpty Dance

Ricky Gervais breaks down the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme - one of the funnier moments from last night's performance.



And although we had fun, I have some issues with live comedy at a huge venue like the Madison Square Garden theater.

Annoying people sit in your seat. You arrive 20 minutes late (obvi) and it's completely dark and the usher is trying to show you where you are supposed to be sitting and you spot two sneaky people lounging and laughing away and pretending that they don't see you glaring at them and talking about them. They of course don't move, so the usher suggests you take two other empty seats behind them as to not disturb the whole role. Bullshit, those are my seats I want their asses up. But of course we're friendly neighbors so we relent. Then five minutes later the couple of seat-steelers gets up, blocking your view during a funny moment and moving away, so you have to climb over the seats to get in your rightful spot, kicking a girl in the head on your way.

Then you realize in your new seat some guy with a giant head is planted right in front of you, so you can't really see anything at all. And so you lean to one side to try to get around him and then of course he leans to that side too. And then you figure screw it cause you are so far from the stage you can't see anything anyway so you should just listen.

And what's with people who don't stand up right away once the show is over. You are of course in the middle of the row so you need at least one side to clear out before you can hit the road, but like five jerks offs at the end of the row closest to the door just sat there for a full 10 minutes waiting for the place to clear out - we were trapped! So once again we had to climb over other seats to exit, but not before giving them all nasty looks.

From now on I will enjoy my comedy on the couch with a joint like you are supposed to - and I'm sure it will be much funnier that way.