The NYTimes online today has a story about a new spa treatment. You’ve heard of medi-spas where chicks can pop in for a little botox on their lunch break, right?! Well welcome to the vagi-spa. That’s right. They are opening a “pelvic health” center on the UES this month. Basically if you are someone who got banged out so much that your vag is all stretched out and needs tightening – this is the place for you. Here’s how it works, a gyno will prop you up on a table, stick two in and then ask you to squeeze. She’ll determine exactly how fit your vag is and based on her diagnosis she’ll provide “personal training.” For the big spenders who are too lazy for kegels, you can get electroshock therapy that causes your muscles to contract on their own, thus exercising your puss. So who do you think will be frequenting the vagi-spa?! Sad girls with mean husbands, that’s who. It is bad enough we have to go to the gym to tighten our fat asses, and spend thousands on anti-aging creams to avoid wrinkles, not to mention the hair coloring every couple months – that’s right we’re not even 30 yet and we have grey… now we have to worry about a sloppy vagina? I can’t imagine a man ever going to a spa to get his dick harder or longer for that matter. (I’m obviously not talking about Pants – because I’ve never seen it Mom – I told you not to read this!) But they wouldn’t freaking do it, and luckily for them “The Man” created a pill that does it for them. Why can’t they create a pill for a nice tight vag for the women so they don’t have to subject themselves to the ridiculously embarrassing trip to the vagi-spa. Save your money ladies and dump the loser.
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3 comments:
I could have made that up
I love tight vag!
Oh wait...no i don't.
VAG. I love it!
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