Jobs suck

So you get all excited for your boyfriend to get a new job, you help him search postings on industry sites, you print out clips for his portfolio and you even pick out the perfect interview outfit (and one for you too to celebrate him getting a new job) – and then he gets a job and it ruins your freaking summer.

Now Pants is on a crappy evening schedule, working 3-11 which really means 12 which means he gets home close to 1. Which means I have a lot of free time on my hands now. The upside is I get to watch all my favorite reality shows sans interruption by stupid sporting events. But there’s something about your loved one whining about needing the remote control and shoving you off the little space left on the coach that touches your heart that will be missed. And the worst part, stupid new bosses refuse to allow time off for important pre-planned trips to Lake Tahoe, ruining your vacation on top of running your summer. Now I’m considering the pros and cons of Pants being employed:

Pros:
More money to buy me stuff and pay for dinners
Cons:
Less free time to cook me dinners and clean the apartment

Pros:
Health and life insurance
Cons:
We’re not married, so I don’t benefit from either

Pros:
He shaves more often now so I don’t have to kiss a scratchy face
Cons:
He leaves his whiskers in the sink crudding it all up and leaving it for me to clean

Pros:
His own personal satisfaction or whatever
Cons:
My own personal boredom

I say the cons have it, quit your job Pants and just be my houseman, we won’t be able to afford food and rent and stuff, but at least we’ll have each other.