Taste Breakers

Some people have really bad taste. It's a sin, really, to have such bad taste. Especially when you live in a house that is worth so much money, and you decorate it like a color blind case study. It's really sad. H-ette and I spent the whole day looking at houses today and as we went in and out of these people's homes, which is weird anyway because you are traipsing through strangers' houses and opening cabinets and closets and medicine chests (oh don't pretend you don't look in people's medicine chests...) and you don't even know them and you are trying to envision your life and your stuff in this house, but all you can see are weird angel collections and needlepoint Jesus pillows. There's something about angel collections that is just a little morbid. I don't know why. But those little cherubs are up to something. I don't like it. They are not innocent at all.

Speaking of morbid, we looked at a house today that was quite nice actually, and when perusing the grounds we stumbled across three gravestones. From the 1800's. In the garden. That's what I call horrorticulture.

So that brings me to another thing that drives me crazy. Beautiful houses set among ugly, unkempt trashy houses. Like, if I am gonna buy a house that costs a lot of money, and love it and take care of it and fix it up, I don't want to open my front door and look at your trailer trash house with the Camaro on cinder blocks in the front yard. It's not right.

Now kitchens. This really drives me bananas. If you are going to sell your house/apartment/loft/cabin, and you are writing the captivating ad to entice buyers, and you are fully aware that your kitchen looks like where Formica and shitty appliances go to die, don't come up with adjectives such as "retro" and "charming." Do you know what charming looks like? It's not 56 year old spaghetti stuck to your stove top.

There I've said my peace. Now does anyone know of any houses on the market? I need a place to live...