She's busy

1 is busy this week. She hasn't posted. I know all our readerettes are upset about it, and as I am bored, I'd like to insinuate what Ette1 could actually be doing that is more important than tending to her readerettes. So let's get started:

1. She's taken Bam to LA to visit Caesar the Dog Whisperer. She is knee deep in re-training the mind and behavior of the wildebeest. As we speak, Bam is pooping on Caesar and he is about to give up his day job. Literally.
2. She was packing her apartment in preparation of moving and decided to wear her Louboutin stilettos while doing so. She tripped, fell into a box, and Pants taped her in without even noticing. She is now being shipped off to a MiniStorage facility on 46th and 11th.
3. An editor tried one of 1's pitched beauty products and broke out in hives. The magazine staff tried to revive her as she went into face-cream-seizure, but it was too late - she died from saggy, hivey skin and our dear Ette1 has been sitting shiva.
   

Whichever it is, 1 is missing and I hope that we get her witty banter back here asap. Because I can't be funny every day. My medication comes with a disclaimer to be careful and only deliver it in small doses.