Monday, June 30, 2008

Funny moments in corporate history...


Out to drinks with coworkers. One sort of socially uncomfortable man has beer and develops a strange tic. He makes bad joke about Subservient Chicken doing funny dirty things like "jumping on one foot" (oh, how dirty...) "cartwheels" (oh, give me more, that's so hot) and then all of a sudden out of nowhere busts out with "finds a way to f&^k himself and then take it up the a*# by a rooster." Whoa buddy...someone should take your one corona light away from you, you're getting a little crazy and you're making me nervous.

Going out to drinks with coworkers makes me realize that I should not be having drinks with coworkers. My days of blending of work life/social life are long gone. I tainted myself with years of taking serious advantage of unlimited expense accounts (yes, I'll pay for that bottle of Opus 1 on my corporate card - in fact, make it two!) and mixing business with pleasure as I partook in such activities as watching my drunk and naked boss dive into a hotel pool. Those days are over. Now it's Connecticut corporate, buttoned up, have a drink at your own risk (and pay for that shit too) and make small talk with peeps with baby vomit crusted on their collars.

So tonight I've realized it's high time I should just stick to what I know, write my bits and get the hell out of dodge, into my gas guzzling SUV, to drive home to my dog and husband so we can get drunk together and play Guitar Hero.

Sorry, work peeps.

(1, another reason why we should still be working together, btw)

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