Birthdays

Birthdays are great, don't get me wrong. I love birthdays, especially when they are mine and I get to have an "It's all about me" day. But since my b-day has come and gone, I have to think of other people. So tonight I was wrapping H-ette's birthday prezzies, because he turns one graceful year older on Sunday. And it occurred to me, 20 minutes into my tedious, perfectionist wrapping job (with silver ribbons and all) that he is not even going to notice the damn wrapping paper. And then it occurred to me that there are a LOT of things we do that men don't even notice.

Such as:

Haircuts and color.

Flattering back pockets on way-too-expensive denim. Which we chose so our ass would look smaller, but apparently the only people who notice this are girls.

Purses.

Clean house.

PMS symptoms.

Dishwasher. Full? Empty.

Clean sheets on bed. (personal wink wink to my H-ette here)

Clean anything, for that matter.

What they do notice:

Your ass got fatter.

You didn't put gas in their car after you used it.

If their PS3 has been touched.

If mushrooms are in their dinner.

If you don't laugh at their jokes.

So I've decided...after this year, there will be no more wrapping prezzies for H-ette, or dad, or bro-sef. Just the ladies. Instead, I am going to save the environment one roll of wrapping paper at a time, and wrap the man-gifts in clean sheets, which they can in turn "unwrap" and make the bed! Everybody plays, everybody wins!