Lawyerette has reviewed all the contracts, she deposed all the witnesses, she did her research and after careful consideration of the the facts she's decided to mary Mr. Big (Head). So in celebration of the blessed event to come she was feted in glamourous fashion this weekend in AC. Here are the highlights.
- Free money: You think nothing comes free in this world?! Not true, well not in AC at least. Five fun girls and a bunch of homely people crowded the bus from port authority to AC, avoiding drinking any water to ensure we wouldn't have to use the on-board facilities. Round trip ticket cost: $16. As we pull into the casino driveway and deboard a woman with a stack of bills actually handed each of us a crisp 20 dollar bill. We stood there confused for many minutes before realizing we got free money, don't question, just enjoy. We made money off the trip already!
- Lettuce wraps: I have never seen a group of grown women become so excited over lettuce. Let me let you in on a little secret ladies, chop veggies, fry them in oil, wrap in lettuce - enjoy. PF Changs has a freaking racket going.
- Pigs
- Business suits: There is nothing like shopping for discounted office-wear at midnight. Nothing.
- Flesh colored underwear: Since we were mostly Jewish or Jindian, and love a good bargain, we decided to bunk together to save some cash - four to a room, two per bed. This caused some angst for Lawyerette - the issue - she only sleeps in her underwear. PJs are too constricting, plus she gets hot. She wondered if her bed-mate would be offended by cuddling up next to her drawers, with nothing but a silky, thin layer of fabric between her and the vagitarian. She took a chance. Everyone slept soundly I think.
- Long walks on the boardwalk: Including, mean bikers, Bill Cosby's creepy kid house, money stashed in a shoe, money falling out of a shoe, lucky person finding money, rightful owner claiming it back, sorry Salami.
- Breakfast buffets: biscuits and breakfast dessert
- Chillaxing: My new word, heard it this weekend, get used to it because I used it like 10 times already today and I giggle every time I do. It's here to stay.
- Mullets, meaty and on wheels: AC is filled with drunk bachelors, drunk bachelorettes, their friends, and the following categories of people - often these work in combination: People with long-ass mullets, people who weight more than 275 and people on Jazzy chairs. Makes a girl feel awfully good about herself, I must admit.
- Temporary hearing loss: Nothing a cab ride, a few bottles of water and a bed won't fix.
- Candy belt
- Making out with tall strangers
- "Visiting" with your boyfriend's father
- Penis straws
- Missions
- Pigs in crotchless underwear
And a great time was had by all. See I didn't write anything bad guys!
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1 comment:
Thanks Ette1 for the fantastic replay. Almost as good as the real thing. And thanks to all my budettes -- east and west -- for sending me off in such style. Can't wait to do it again in August, this time with Mr. Big (Head).
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