Facebook

The Internets are truly a wonderful adventure. Every day there's some new website to check out, some new portal with access to useless information and pictures. (Not this site, of course - this site is pure educational genius). But take Facebook for example. This is not the first website of its kind, but the first one that seems to have reached a cross-generational market. I first was "found" on Facebook by my uncle Morris in Toronto. Much unlike Myspace, where the first person who found me was Amanda Lepore, trannie superstar.

So in the last couple of days, I've been connected with numerous high school friends whom I haven't spoken to in over a decade (short of a few minutes here or there at a ten year reunion). Now I get to see pictures of these people today, check out their children (yes, they all have children - I seem to be the only one holding on to my independence and my uterus) and their husbands and wives (I have one of those, thank you - husband I mean, not wife) and see all their friends. It's really quite spectacular, really. I mean, who needs to actually be "friends" with anyone these days? You can just hang out online all day and be who ever you feel like being that day. You can amass as many "friends" as will accept your request, you can pretend to like whatever music you feel like, you can even put fake pictures of yourself. It's truly your world, the rest of us are just clicking through it.

So go join Facebook, and seek me out. I'll be your friend. I promise to post useless, mundane comments on your "wall" and send you fun cybergifts, like Louis Vuitton bags that are really just pictures, and not really bags that you can do anything with. Grayt! And sometimes I will even surprise you with memories of our childhood together - memories I'm quite sure you have spent a lot of years trying to forget, which is the probably the reason we haven't spoken since we were twelve in the first place.