Republican Hoopla

Tomorrow night marks one of our favorite comedic events, the Republican National Debate. In getting "hip" with the times, YouTube has stepped in to offer the "every-man, woman, dog, convict, etc..." an opportunity to submit questions to the candidates via the YouTube website; CNN will then choose questions from the pool to include in the televised debate.

We at Kvetchette have a few very serious questions of our own for the Commies, er, I mean Republican candidates:

1. Let's just say for a moment that Starbuck's is a Democratic coffee, and Dunkin Donuts is a Republican coffee; if you are elected would you put an end to the Starbuck's java monopoly in my city? Or at the very least would you enforce a coffee-cup-drip law that would force Starbucks to fix their drippy cups?


2. If elected will you support the passing of the Britney Spears Law which would force idiot mothers/drivers/celebrities/hair-extension-wearers to be banished to small Central Pacific islands for a period no less than 10 years?
   
3. This question would be specifically for "Rude" Giuliani: If chosen as the Republican nominee, do you promise to continue to exercise your Trannie rights by dressing in drag for all White House functions? (Re-using costumes is acceptable, however makeup and wig should be altered each event.
4. If elected, will you vote for the official changing of the term Internet to Internets?

Please feel free to add your own questions for tomorrow night's debate to the comments section. We have an in with Anderson "the poop" Cooper and promise to get all questions to him prior to debate start so our issues will take priority.