Why are you crying?

Why is it that we can fly people into outer space and back, create crafts that can walk on water, invent the iphone - but no one can tell us why our babies are crying.

I have a 4-month-old niece who is perfect in every way. Sweet, smiley, adorable, playful but every now and then she turns into a little demon of anger and misery and those of us around her are launched into a virtual pit of despair trying to sooth her. Case in point... Sun afternoon, baby is fed, freshly awaken from nap, clean diaper, snuggled in a cute outfit and enjoying several renditions of "this little piggy" when all of the sudden, she starts to wail, throws her head back so her little body is rigid as a board making her impossible to hold and she screams bloody murder for 45 minutes. What is auntie to do in this situation? So she calls mom-mom who suggests burping her, must be gas. After nearly breaking her little back with burp inducing pats, and getting a few good belches, but not calming the child, I break down and call the mom. Probably gas she says, try burping her. Eventually kid cries herself out and falls into this pathetic still-crying sort of sleep where she's whimpering and little tiny tear drops still fall. OK, at least she's sleeping I thought. Then the phone rings like 10 thousand times, and awakes baby again to a new round of 45 minute misery. This pattern continues till about 10 minutes before mom and dad walk in the door to cuddle their little angle.

Fine maybe it was a fluke, I thought. Then last night mom and aunt are enjoying naked time with baby as she coos on her changing table (baby is naked, mom and aunt are fully clothed). All of the sudden, mom goes to sit down, leaving aunt and baby alone and baby lets out a major fart and is thrown instantly into hysterics again. Despite all my valiant efforts baby is not happy again until mom bounces her. I'm starting to take it personally.

Message to baby: Get your act together. Start acting right. I don't appreciate the negativity in my life. I bought you like 4 gifts last week alone.

So point of the story is, I'm sure it's not something I'm doing wrong, but rather this kid is sort of nuts. And it would be nice if all the scientists out there would put their heads together and help us figure out why babies cry all the time and how to freaking get them to stop. Money is no object... if these parents can afford 4 strollers, they can pay whatever it takes to figure out the crying situation.