Anyone who's anyone knows the real deal about Chuck Norris - he's not someone who should be messed with. Here's some well-known Chuck Norris facts. For more, check out chucknorrisfacts.com
- Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
- There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
- The leading causes of death in the United States are 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- When the Boogieman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stars them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water, and make him drink.
- Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
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3 comments:
this is a blatant rip-off from my original fact sheet. i used to consider this site a trustworthy source of news and enlightening banter... now it's just a substandard and erronious haven for smut and drivel.
I forgot to post a link.
http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty
Ok, this has gone on long enough. It's time for me to set the record straight...
First of all, I've never killed anyone. I gave a guy a noogie once, but he had it coming.
It's true that I don't sleep. It's actualy a medical condition that makes my life a living hell, so thanks for bringing it up
My cheif export is lima beans. I didn't buy this lima bean farm for nothing.
The fist behind my beard is actually the remaining hand of my siamese twin. He died during birth, and as a tribute to him I decided to keep the hand and grow a beard over it. Again, nice memories you're bringing up.
I did count to infinity twice. I really didn't think anyone was watching, though.
I started that "staring books down" thing. The truth is I can't read. Ironicaly, I have no problem responding to blog articles.
It is true that I can lead a horse to water and get them to drink, but that's because I never keep any water nearby for my horses, so when we go to the river, they're really thirsty.
The telling time thing got really blown out of proportion. Some guy asked me what time it was once, and I guessed it correctly. Now he thinks I'm this human clock.
Lastly, Jack Bauer is a duesche
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