Here's something you don't see everyday. The New Museum in NY is selling capsules you ingest, promising to turn your poo GOLD. For the low introductory price of $275, you can purchase the golden nuggets and immediately climb the status pole as the only ace on your block to be so money, your bowels are gold.
Hmmm..gold poo. Now if that were something I was interested in, which I'm not (at least not yet; I need convincing) I might be apt to fork up a few bucks to see if it actually worked. C'mon, you know you would too. But $275 for three gold-poo capsules??
I would like to create a pros and cons list of why gold poo may or may not be a good idea:
Pro: If you made poo in a public restroom you could leave a floater and really freak the next poo-er out.
Con: Having to make poo in a public restroom to achieve this glory.
Pro: People may use the catch phrase "You act like your shit don't stink..." and you can kindly retort that whilst it may stink like other poo it certainly looks prettier; and it sparkles.
Con: You are retorting to a nasty chide at your personality with a golden poo comeback.
Pro: You can bring back Studio 54, starting with the bathroom.
Con: The only people who want to be reminded of Studio 54 while in the bathroom are those who have no cocaine left and hope to find some on your toilet seat.
Pro: You just dropped a golden deuce, and you lucked out because it happened to be a whammy.
Con: This is the kind of thing that sounds cool, but you are the only person who will garner any satisfaction after dropping the kids off at the pool. Unless of course you are comfortable asking friends and/or family to come check out the poo you just dropped in their powder room, in all it's golden glory.
All interested parties, please purchase your Poo Pills here.
Hmmm..gold poo. Now if that were something I was interested in, which I'm not (at least not yet; I need convincing) I might be apt to fork up a few bucks to see if it actually worked. C'mon, you know you would too. But $275 for three gold-poo capsules??
I would like to create a pros and cons list of why gold poo may or may not be a good idea:
Pro: If you made poo in a public restroom you could leave a floater and really freak the next poo-er out.
Con: Having to make poo in a public restroom to achieve this glory.
Pro: People may use the catch phrase "You act like your shit don't stink..." and you can kindly retort that whilst it may stink like other poo it certainly looks prettier; and it sparkles.
Con: You are retorting to a nasty chide at your personality with a golden poo comeback.
Pro: You can bring back Studio 54, starting with the bathroom.
Con: The only people who want to be reminded of Studio 54 while in the bathroom are those who have no cocaine left and hope to find some on your toilet seat.
Pro: You just dropped a golden deuce, and you lucked out because it happened to be a whammy.
Con: This is the kind of thing that sounds cool, but you are the only person who will garner any satisfaction after dropping the kids off at the pool. Unless of course you are comfortable asking friends and/or family to come check out the poo you just dropped in their powder room, in all it's golden glory.
All interested parties, please purchase your Poo Pills here.
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2 comments:
[singing] I want the golden poo. I want all the golden poooooo. I want to lock it all up in my pocket. It's my bar of golden chocolate (poo). Give it to me now. Don't ask howwwwww (they make it), I want it nowwwwww...
This is a shitty idea.
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