Monday, December 10, 2007

Important note to gift givers


There are some rules to gift giving that everyone should be aware of. There are some times during the year that when you give a gift it's completely understood. Like if you give me a gift during the week of my birthday or Hanukkah, then I understand that gift is designated for the holiday or celebration in question. It becomes less clear when gifting on off-periods how to designate said gift.



Let's say for instance I moved to a new, smaller apartment which required a large, yet flat screen TV. Perhaps I mentioned this to a few close friends and family members, and one said family member OFFERS to purchase one for me, because said family member can easily afford it. Then say out of the goodness and generosity of my own heart I suggest splitting the cost between said family member and myself. Said TV is purchased - and installed with no help from said family member might I add. Cut to nearly four months later, said family member shows up to family Hanukkah party with no gift for the TV giftee. Said family member explains that said large flat screen TV should have been considered the Hanukkah gift. Here's what went wrong here. At the original time of purchase, many months ago, when it was still hot outside and no one was thinking of winter-time holidays, said family member did not state that gift of TV should be designated forthcoming Hanukkah gift. This was neither expressed via verbal nor written communication of any sort, nor should it have been assumed. In fact, the TV recipient even went so far as to send a "Thank You" card to said family member - noting how generous it was to provide the gift (or half of it, as stated earlier) for no reason at all. After seeing this card, if there was some misunderstanding about designation of said gift, the giver should have cleared it up at that point. That didn't happen. So imagine, my surprise and dismay when I did not receive a gift at said Hanukkah party. I express this not to make any said family members feel bad or inadequate but merely as a cautionary tale to other potential gift-givers who might be reading this.



So, here are the rules:


  • It is the gift-givers responsibility to acknowledge the designation of gifts no matter the time of year.

  • If gift-giver means to designate said gift for more than one occasion (although generally frowned upon), it must be clearly stated in advance of gift giving or at the least at the time of gift giving.

  • If gift is given for "no reason" you may not at a later date designate them for a specific purpose or event.

  • Once an appropriate "Thank You" is received and accepted, gift-giver can no longer bring up the fact that said gift giver gave said generous gift.

Rules to live by everyone...


4 comments:

Anonymous said...

you're such a f'ing j.a.p., it's scary.

Anonymous said...

I actually think the broad has a point here . . .

Anonymous said...

First of all, I agree you with kris in that you are a f'ing JAP, well, more of a JAB (you can figure out what the B stands for), but a JA Something none the less.

Second, you needn't worry about getting "unsolicited" gifts ever again from said family member.

Third, said family member made it explicitly clear that the gift would be for the nearest gift giving occasion (in this case, hanukah). If the gift-givee has selective memory, that is the not the fault of the gift giver.

Fourth, what do you want for Hanukah?

Anonymous said...

omg kids, can't we all just get along...