Reasons Why Living in the Suburbs Is Fun

1. Your old crew from the city think you live much farther than you really do, which means they don't hold the same expectations of you to show up for random dinners and parties like when you lived in the hood.


2. Giving directions on how to reach your abode becomes a fun exercise in teasing when you start using landmarks like 'hay bale' and 'tractor' or by telling them that when they get off the train they should pass the lineup of Amish carriages out front and simply walk the 4 miles to your house.


3. Cars, driveways and ample parking. Yes, having a car to get you from point A to B or anywhere in between is underrated. City life has you believing that you are so indestructable and cool that you can walk anywhere and thus you learn how to get Indian food, buy a parka, get fitted for a bra, go rollerblading and see a show at Lincoln Center, all within a span of 14 blocks and 20 minutes. In the suburbs, I power up my gas-guzzling SUV from the comfort of my living room thanks to my remote start, then I take 4 steps from front door to car, and I drive wherever my lil heart pleases. And the suburbs have malls with loads of parking; no driving around the entire UWS looking for a spot so you can simply drop off dry cleaning or stand in line for a hot dog. Nah, we suburbanites do it up right. Drive through, baby. Even our ATM's are drive through.


4. Having a house with two levels and a backyard inevitably elicit 'oohs and aah's' from the crowd of city-folk who have come to visit you. It doesn't matter where people grew up or how much acreage they had as a kid; once you become a city dweller, space is about as foreign a concept as intelligence is to George Bush. So no matter how big or small your house and yard is, it will be the talk of the evening as people relish in your space and pretend, if for but a night, that they are ready to move to the burbs too for such luxuries.


5. It's possible to fulfill all the cliche husbandly and wifely duties, which is sort of fun in a Stepford-ish, Rosemary's Baby kind of pretend-way. Like, your hubbie actually shovels snow from your driveway and walkway, and you actually carry loads of laundry down to the basement and DO them. Things your domesticated city-friends would laugh hysterically over.

There you have it; suburbs rock.