I'm a fat pig and here's why...

I don't know why we haven't addressed this before, because it's a topic of great interest to me, but I'm sitting here thinking about how I want a chocolate bar and trying to figure out which one to get. So I'm debating the merits of all my favs in my head. And why keep something in my head when I can share it with all of you.

Snickers obviously is in the top 5. Reasons why? 1. It really satisfies you. 2. Such a good mix of important candy bar ingredients including, chocolate (obvi), peanuts, mystery nougat and caramel. 3. Excellent in ice cream form. Downside to the snickers, it's just a lot you know, you feel kinda like a pig eating a whole snickers. So you opt for those "fun size" tiny ones, but they are so delicious and small you end up eating 12, which is like eating a whole bar and half anyway. So that's a little annoying.

The Milky Way is an excellent snickers alternative - nice caramel / nougat balance there. But nothing crunchy. I like a nice mix of textures in my candy, so this won't do.

Take5 is a newcomer, but deserves some recognition. Have you had this one? It's a combo of five main components. Pretzels, covered in peanut butter, with peanuts, covered in caramel, covered in chocolate. The benefit here obviously is the marriage of salty and sweet. I'll enjoy a Take5 in a pinch, but it's not my top choice, the peanuts I think are gratuitous. Too much chewing required, candy indulgence should be a leisurely activity.

Then you have the 3 Musketeers. Lots of good mystery nougat here - and slightly fewer calories than the other guys. But again, no satisfying crunch and what's with the name? Who are the musketeers and why are there three of them?

OOH, my ultra fav is the Whatchamacallit. These aren't so easily sourced, but so awesomely delicious. I have no idea what's in it, so I had to check the Hershey's site. Apparently it's "peanut-flavored crisp candy," covered in caramel and then dipped in chocolate. What I love here is of course the ridiculous name and the fact that they don't even pretend to have real ingredients like whole peanuts - they are rockin the peanut flavor. Brillz.

I have to throw a bone to Raisinets. Raisins are like gross, shriveled up old grapes that get a new life covered in thick chocolate. Instantly more delicious! Very nice mixed with hot popcorn at the movies.

I was just about the wrap up when I remembered Twix and his kid brother, Kit Kat - HELLO?!?!!? They are both awesomely good tasting. Only downside is like you basically have to share them. They can too easily be divided, so if you open one in front of some greedy person you like have to offer them some. These are best for private dining.