Challah at your dogs - at least that's what a Tel Aviv suburb will be doing, now that they are using DNA to test doggie poo that has been neglected on sidewalks, streets and public parks. Check this concept out:
- You take your dog to the vet and they swab Spot's mouth for DNA which they program into the system. (Hopefully, Spot isn't the pimp of the town, or else you just signed your dog up for paternity proof and puppy support payments for all the bitches he humped, but that's a minor side effect of the project - we'll assume pooch has manners...)
- You continue to do your doodoo diligence and pick up after Spot's number shtayims. You drop the shtayims in special receptacles and the doggie DNA people reward you with free stuff and coupons and doggie swag. Major score for doing what you do anyway, right?
- Should you forget to pick up the doggie shtayim because you are too busy fighting with your boyfriend on your iPhone, wondering where you left your army rifle last, rubbing Ahava onto your hands and you don't want to get them dirty...whatever. Point is, the poo police are coming for ya. 911 style. They scoop the poop, take it back to the lab, and fine your ashen for the mess.
Point is...Israeli's are smart. And their streets are clean. And working on a kibbutz is sort of like Big Love except they sometimes grow their own food too and they don't shtup each other's spouses (at least not the ones I've visited). So Israel is officially on the list of possible places to move the family (including Leia the Wunderdog) should this country lose it's mind in 6 short weeks...
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2 comments:
Very well-written. Seriously, even that half-dog, half-rabbi Scooby "Mendel" Schnauzer couldn't have done better. Sit Boo-Boo, sit -- good 'oy.
How about Canada - We would take you McCain dodgers in. Except of course we DO have that scum-bucket Harper in power here - oy! Maybe Israel is the place to go - after all, politics there are so calm and settled.
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