Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Happy New Year


For those of you who are confused why half of your office is not in today - it's Rosh Hashanna, or Rosh Hashana, or Rosh Hashanah, or for us the New Year, or literally Head of the Year. We Jews are so chosen and special that we don't even follow your x many years after Christ calendar - we have our own that's way older and better, we're partying like it's the year 5769. Forget fancy fireworks and Dick Clark, we're pulling a horn off an animal and blowing in it to make sounds - hooray for the rosh! I should be one of the Jews taking off work today to "pray" and stuff, which translated into English means, do a drive-by at temple and spend the rest of the afternoon watching TV and eating brisket. But since I took off yesterday to make the freaking brisket, I had to catch up. You'll notice some people trying to "work the Jew system" by taking tomorrow off too - it's technically still the holiday but nobody really observes that part. It's all leading up to our most hated holiday - Yom Kippur, next week, where we fast all day. Fake-ass Jews will try to cheat and still drink stuff, or only eat non-delicious foods, but us hard-core tribe members go the full day - no food, no drink, no helpful drugs. We repent for our sins (will be a long day for me), ask for forgiveness for our wrong-doings (again, long shitty day) and fast and at the end the big guy decides if we're good to go for another year. Anyway, that's what I'm looking forward to next week. Today I'll celebrate the new year by leaving work 3 hours early.

Good Yuntiff, everyone.

1 comment:

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