Let me tell you about my sporting adventure

Schlepped out to my hometown this weekend to see a Phillies game with the fam.

I honestly couldn’t tell you who they played (they were wearing blue and gray), but my team won – so we’re happy.

Here’s how an Ette experiences sports.

Game time:3:55

1 and Pants arrive at about 4:45. We missed kick-off (or whatever they say about starting a baseball game), but that’s fine because these things go on forever so the first 3 innings don’t mean much.

Before we find our seats we look for snacks – obvi. Pants enjoys a hot dog and I pulled some popcorn out of a bucket in the food service line, but it was stale, so I folded the box right up and left without it. I got a lemonade instead and a pretzel for my dad, but eat the end parts because he probably won’t want them.

We find our seats. I momentarily fight off the feeling of vertigo or nausea, or whatever from being so high up.

It’s muggy – I mention that to my sister. There’s also no breeze, I mention that as well. She’s reading her New Yorker.

They do that find the baseball under the hat (shell game) thing on the jumbo tron. I vote for 3, it was under 2.

Ooh the Phanatic comes out, he’s dancing, that’s fun.

Some baseball happens, one guy gets a hit, but someone catches it, so nothing happens.

On the jumbo tron some guy proposes to his girlfriend. Obviously I’m not happy for them. Plus how lame is it to get engaged at the baseball game?! Don’t get any ideas Pants. Well go ahead and get engagement ideas, but not during sports.

I’m starting to feel a little peckish, time to look for food again. We get in line for cheesestakes, but it takes too long, we eat funnel cake instead.

Then half a hot dog

And a slice of pizza

Ooh the crowd is cheering, someone did something good.

Then we had to get ice cream, cause it comes in that little hat/cup. So cute.

We make it back to our seats finally.

7^th inning stretch, that was fun I guess.

Then they did the thing on the jumbo tron where they search the audience for couples who kiss. Pants and I kiss but they didn’t find us.

It’s hot, so I stop touching Pants. I remind my sister how hot and muggy it is.

Phanatic is out again, he’s doing a funny dance. Wow, he must be hot in there. I say to my sister, “think he’s hot in that thing?”

I’m thinking about revisiting the snack bar, but the thing ends. I guess we won, yay.

We head out in the direction of our car. Dad decides we’re going the wrong way – he’s looking for Packer ave. We ask people where Packer ave is – and they point a long way away. We go in that direction. This looks wrong. It’s getting dark. Wait Dad says, I meant Patterson. Patterson is way away in the other direction. We go back where we came. It’s now cold and dark. We drive home in silence.

Tonight the Eagles play. I ordered Fresh Direct, should be fun.