Puddles + Vehicles = Superiority Complex

I need to know why drivers or operators of vehicles, when faced with an upcoming puddle, choose to speed up and veer directly into the path of the pond instead of going around it. But yet only do this when there are pedestrians present. Like it's their god given right to super soak your ass because they are behind the wheels of steel and your stupid self is hiding beneath a pocket-fold umbrella you bought on the street for $5 with three of the spokes poking out in a menacing fashion, and you're wearing open toed espadrilles. WTF?

These people are:

1. Predominantly drivers of vehicles that have things hanging from their rear view mirror.
2. The kind of folk who don't own espadrilles, don't know what they are, don't care.
3. The same people who have multiple McCain/Palin stickers across their bumper.
4. The people who have monster golf umbrellas hidden somewhere in their big rigs for just such a day. (Making them also the people who have zero umbrella etiquette - see archived umbrella post)
5. The people who's children do such things in public places as throw stadium-sized hissy fits in the Entenmann's aisle at Stop and Shop, who think cutting into their skin with paper clips is fun and a way to curb boredom, and who are at this very moment, probably having unprotected sex on their parent's couch in the 'ole family room.

I'm arming myself with rocks from now on. Your windshield won't know what hit it.