Dental Damn

I hate the dentist. Not the actual dentist, she's sorta cute and totally nice and she puts her hands all in my mouth to help me control my gingivitis and stuff which is sweet of her. But the act of going to the dentist is a nightmare. I'm aware that this subject has been discussed at length and maybe I'm not adding anything incredibly new or interesting but here are some thoughts on the topic since I have an appointment this afternoon and am feeling anxious:

What sucks:
- The sound; the awful muted buzzing of teeth being ground down, mixed with the faint whisper of a whimper coming from the patient.
- The smell; the stench of tooth dust and ages old plaque being liberated from the bacteria filled mouth and expelled into the air.
- The feel; that pick, that torture device they use to get in between the the small spaces between tightly packed teeth. Sometimes I think the dentist misses on purpose and gets your gums just as a way to get back at the world for their shitty job.
- The taste; the toothpaste they use is beyond heinous, and that mixed with the taste of blood and tooth dust is an ugly cocktail indeed.
- The drool; now come on, they know that suction tube is useless, it only works to give me hickey as it tries to inhale my cheek from the inside while my saliva, blood and teeth grit drips down the other side of my face, down my neck where you get that icky wet feeling for the rest of the session.
- The lips; my poor, usually well-moisturized lips end up achingly chapped and stretched after a cleaning. All the kiehl's lip balm #1 in NYC can't get them back to fighting shape within a week.
- The magazines; they are worn beyond repair and are at least two years old. The cover always throws me off for a second, I'm like Britney is pregnant again?!! Oh no, it's just an old US.

My prediction for today is one cavity. Although I swear I've been flossing. Maybe if you all send me positive vibes today, I'll get away with just a warning. Fingers crossed everyone.