How Do I Love Thee

Dear Google,

I write this letter in thanks...a heartfelt thanks for all that you give to me each and every day.

Google, you have been there for me through thick and thin. You have been with me through the rough times (when I would use your trusty search engine to try and order prescription drugs through Canada) and the good times (when I simply was looking for that Balenciaga bag on sale). And you have always come through. Meaning, I am now the proud owner of both the Balenciaga and some Vicoden. Thank you for being a friend and not an enabler.

You have pointed me in the right direction when I was curious if I had family I didn't know about, and you boosted my ego when I googled my own name and found 2 pages worth of things actually relating to me, and not some other geek with my name. You have found me restaurant phone numbers when I had the munchies and was too lazy to get off the couch and actually go to the restaurant to get food. You rock, Googlette...

In all our years together you have very rarely led me astray (like the time I searched for chicken breast recipes and you took me to that porn site--silly google). And I forgive you for these times because they have always given me a chuckle.

How can I repay you for the wealth of information you provide? You are so brave, so giving that you don't even charge me for these services. And you even go so far as to change your homepage with a new cute logo or animation every day...how sweet are you?!

Please Google, please let me know if there's anything I can do for you in return. Like if you're ever in the neighborhood (which you can find by using your handy dandy Google maps and satellite) stop by for a cup of coffee (which I ordered by looking up the name of that Jamaican company on you) or give a ring on my cell phone (which I got discounted from China by Google searching the model name and number) and if you still can't reach me just check in to kvetchette.com (which was created through images "borrowed" from your image search database).

Sincerely and forever yours,

Ette2 (who wil be even more indebted to you if you should choose to add kvetchette.com to page 1 of all searches for the term 'kvetch' or 'bitch' or 'really rad ettes')