Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on the Plain


Rain etiquette: A topic we tend to not think about until it's too late; meaning, when the skies are dark and it's pouring outside, and the etiquette-less take to the streets with their unwieldy umbrellas built for 6 and then all hell breaks loose, and Rainmageddon begins....

Let me paint a visual picture for you, should you be unfamiliar with this territory. Case in point: It's a rainy day in New York City, and aside from the subways, trains and taxis being unusually slow, broken down or just plain dysfunctional, the citizens of the city have morphed into manner-less beings with glassy stares and firm grips on their ridiculously oversized umbrellas. Now, I don't know if it's an ego thing; I mean, does the size of your umbrella say something about you? I must have missed that memo, because 3 out of 4 New Yorkers insist on wielding umbrellas large enough to fit the entire population of Darfur underneath.

Now with sidewalk widths being what they are, and the population growth factor being what it is, you can certainly paint a visual (if you aren't already familiar) of what this tragic New York scene looks and feels like. And aside from the obvious scientific diameter perspective, I think it's safe to say that 75% of New Yorkers have absolutely no umbrella etiquette.

So, should you be one of those statistics, let me give you a little update on the 2007 edition of "How to Walk in the Rain Without Taking Someone's Eye Out."
  1. Choose an umbrella size proportionate to your body size.
  2. When walking on a crowded sidewalk, keep your eyes up and not down at the ground, so as to be aware of humans, animals, trash cans or cars you may or may not be about to walk directly into.
  3. When passing other pedestrians also wielding umbrellas, pay attention, and either raise your umbrella up or lower it slightly when passing them so as not to "crash" umbrellas, thus sending rain splashes flying onto every person within a 10 foot radius.
  4. Be aware of the spokes of your umbrella. They may not appear as weapons to you, but to the glassy eyes of the passing many, they may as well be hot spokes and they most certainly can take somebody's eye out.
  5. Focus more on the purpose and reason for which you are carrying said umbrella, and do not use it as a fashion statement, weapon, or any other purpose.
Thank you for tuning in to this public service announcement. I look forward to seeing you all dry with both eyes in tact.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The origin of the lyrics to "Rain rain go away" are said to date back to the reign of Queen Elizabeth I (1533-1603), one of the English Tudor monarchs. During this period of English history there was constant rivalry between Spain and England culminating in the launch of the Spanish Armada in 1588. The Spanish Armada consisted of many Spanish galleons and was sent to invade England. The Armada was led by Duke of Medina Sedonia and the the fleet numbered over 130 ships. The English fleet, under Admiral Lord Howard, totalled 34 small Navy vessels and 163 armed merchant ships. But the great Spanish Armada was defeated. Only 65 Spanish galleons and just 10,000 men returned to Spain. The attempt failed, not only because of the swift nature of the smaller English ships but also by the stormy weather which scattered the Armada fleet. Hence the origin of the "Rain rain go away" Nursery rhyme!