A Br-ette submission

My brother-ette sent this deliciously funny post today, please to enjoy!

Ette2 has inspired me. I need to get my hatred of dumb kids off my chest.

As a responsible and caring member of the scientific community (fry cook at BK), I signed up to be a judge for an online science competition. For those of you that don't know about the scientific method (or scien-terrific method as we say in our science/deep-fry techniques meetings), it goes a little something like this; First, you state a question or problem (are french fries delicious?), then you do research (read about how people love/like french fires), state your hypothesis (french fries are probably delicious), perform experiments (eat french fries with zest and great zeal), report observations (french fries taste delicious, really delicious), and finally report your conclusion (french fries are delicious). Unfortunatley, the majority of 7th, 8th, and 9th graders in America couldn't scientifically method to save their lives...and doubley unfortunatley, as judges we could only give zeros as the lowest scores (we couldn't go negative)...and unfortunaltey to the max, we couldn't post comments on how dumb they are. Here's an example;

One group of kids were trying to find the best renewable energy resource for when we run out of oil. Pretty comendable, right? Well, they said solar energy wouldn't work because eventually the sun would go away, so they chose wind energy as our best bet. Ok, that makes no sense, but I'm willing to hear them out. Then, when they did more research, they found out that the sun creates the wind (not true), and so wind energy was out. So they eventually went with geothermal energy. So relax everyone...when the sun explodes and takes the wind with it, we'll still have the heat of the earth to power our Civic SI's.

I gave this team a 70 out of 500. I felt bad that they were going to see this score and think they were failures, but then I thought they'll probably think that 70 isn't much less than 500, which will make them feel pretty good...as good as that first bite into a golden, crispy, deep fried potato wedge. All I know is that when I became a scientist, I took an oath...an oath to lady science...in which I swore to protect the vagina of her integrity, boobs of her honor, and anus of her accurate and repeatable results from the penis of ignorance. G Bless you all.