Move over Renee Zellwegger and Rachael Ray, make room for Alicia Keys.
There's just something about her that bugs me. She is so overplayed on the radio, I learn to instantly hate her songs as soon as they are released. And all her tunes are so catchy you can't get them out of your head, it repeats on you like bad chinese food with too much soda. I wake up in the morning to the ever whiny No one no one no one... Her voice is so raspy and not in a good MJB way, it just sounds like chalk on blackboard to me. She can't put on clothes without a stylist and can't write a song without Stevie Wonder. I also think she's a closeted Lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that) but I wish she would just come out with it. Oh and she should never dance - she can't do it, her mom is white afterall. She should just sit at the piano, I guess she's pretty good at that.
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...and her boobs are small.
Hey, didn't she die in a plane accident a few years back anyway? Something about a runway skid-off? Oh wait, maybe that was Aliyah... I dunno, I get these no-talent tramps mixed up.
Whatever happened to real artists, you know... like Bette Midler and Max Headroom? I guess Max wasn't a real person, but still... he was really good.
"you are the wind beneath myyyyyyy wings..."
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