Keepin' Up With the Times

Ah, Judy Blume. She was my personal Maya Angelou. My Proust. My Hemingway all rolled into one ultra-femme pre-pubescent exploratory author. I just found out that in an effort to keep up with the evolution of our culture, her novels' covers have undergone makeovers in order to appeal to the contemporary, more "mature" 11 year old. Forever, first printed in 1975, has gone from having a sweet, innocent locket on the cover to showing the legs of a boy and a girl on the bed together and a note from the author to readers about STD's. Wow. Times they are a changin'. The last thing I was thinking about when I was 11 years old was STDs. Sure, I wanted to hang out with boys.I had a pretty sweet crush on this kid with the slickest skater cut ever - Mike Riches. He used to wear a Vision Street Wear shirt every day to school. I even wished myself to have boobs, and I kid you not, I woke up one morning and had gone from being completely flat chested to having a full rack - literally overnight.

Jeez, I owe Judy a big thanks. She taught me how to be a brat, how to get what I want, how to improve my bust, how to potentially raise a family in an apartment (Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing), about Hitler, sex (Forever), male masturbation (Then Again, Maybe I Won't), scoliosis and sexual tension (Deenie), periods (Are You There God? It's Me Margaret). Basically, she taught me everything my parents were afraid to talk to me about. Come to think of it, my parents never talked to me about sex or relationships at all - might explain all those "mistakes" I made as a young impressionable teen. Not that I'm blaming you, Dad, sex talk with you with all your "Uh's" would have made for a verrrrrrry long conversation.

What do kids today have? Gossip Girl. The Hills. iPhones. Youtube. Facebook. Crazy, right? I think I have just made an executive decision not to have kids. Because by the time my kids would grow up to be 12, Judy Blume's covers will have some celebrity's crotch on the cover as they exit their limo.