I don't understand Gentiles

So husbandette and I had a nice day off yesterday due to "Good Friday." Didn't even really know what this was until H-ette informed me that it had something to do with the day Christ was crucified, or something to that effect. Hmm. Seems an important day in Christianity, wouldn't you say? Important enough for the stock markets to close, companies to declare it a national holiday, and allow citizens the right to celebrate this "holiday" as they deem fit.

I would like to know then, why when H-ette and I arrived at Woodbury Commons in an effort to infuse our wardrobe with some fun spring staples, was there nary a parking space in sight, due to the mobs and crowds of people. "Good Friday Sale!" screamed signs from outlet shop windows. Good Friday sale? Celebrate the commemoration of Christ's death by purchasing Gucci at 60% off retail!! What could be better?

Now this crowd could have very well consisted of all Jews, but we know that's pretty unlikely. The only place you find Jews in abundance in public are Great Adventure and Chinese restaurants on Christmas. So it's safe to assume that a good percentage of these discount shoppers were gentile.

When it's Passover, you don't see Jews taking holiday from work and perusing around shopping malls and such. We use our holidays to truly do penance for our sins. Passover? We are forced to shelf bread and bread byproducts for a WEEK, and additionally we are forced to spend two consecutive nights eating the exact same meal, of which we have to sit at the table and wait two hours to eat while we read from the Hagadah. Fun, right? And then there's Yom Kippur, where we starve ourselves for a full 24 hours. Yeah, good times. And Hannukah? Even Hannukah is traditionally pretty lame, forcing children to sit around and spin a top for gelt. And we don't even get off from work for these "holidays."

Not that I'm knocking the non-Jews. I think there's plenty you offer us of which I will always enjoy partaking in. Like my newly inducted Christmukkah holiday celebration, which gives us the best of both worlds. I also like your holiday hams - they are quite tasty and I would choose this over tongue any day. And while I've never celebrated Easter per se, I think it's awfully cute that you paint eggs for the children. Arts and crafts is good for the soul.

Lastly, please someone explain to me why this is called "Good Friday." Shouldn't it be called Bad Friday? Or Sad Friday? Or Bad Sad Friday? I mean, sheesh - what kind of mixed message is this? I remain confused.