I'm cool

Cut to 13 years ago, I was a little baby-ette basically traveling around the globe for the first time without parental supervision. My teen tour to Israel was where I met Ette 2, then just a wee young
thing from Delaware. Naturally as 16-year-olds we thought we were hot shit; we had boobs, good style and the perfect ‘Mean Girls’ kind of attitude that made everyone else hate us and want to be our friends at the same time. We were desperate to be cool and appear cool to others – so when Laslia Swarez (another lily white jewish girl from suburban Philly) and I met Ette 2, we were blown away. She was kind of bad-ass, she smoked weed and was into rap music. Little Laslia and I hit it off with her immediately and sought her help in making us more urbane and interesting. So she began by teaching us some of her favorite rap songs – we wanted to learn the lyrics, word for word. Something about singing Big Papa lyrics (Throw your hands in air, if you a true playa) made us feel like we were edgy and cooler than everyone else listening to Hootie and the Blowfish. And since this was before the internets, we couldn’t just google the lyrics, 2 memorized them and wrote them down for us so. Laslia and I practiced the Beastie Boy’s Paul Revere for the entire summer, we kept our notes with us even after the trip and would refer back to them from time to time to keep it fresh, keep the song within us, and to this day either of us can deliver the entire song, note for note, with out missing a beat.

All of that effort culminated in my crowning glory moment this weekend. I agreed to join a friend for b-day Karaoke, but being painfully insecure about my singing voice, I knew it would take a whole lotta strength and a whole lotta alcohol to get me up on that mic. So as I sit in our private room sipping my third white wine and dreading my turn up at front… all of the sudden I hear the classic intro notes. Someone plugged in Paul Revere. Here I am, I’ve prepared for this moment, this is my song, this is my time. I feel the blood surge in my body, I feel the lights beaming down on me, I rise and in one swift movement I’m at the front of the room, mic in my hand, ready to blow. And I deliver the ultimate Karaoke rendition of Paul Revere, used just the right speed, the right intonations and accents, didn’t stop to catch my breath. Everyone in the room fell silent, there was a look of awe and surprise, all they could do was groove with me – it was too powerful for even them to understand. After the song finished, I was lifted up on to someone’s shoulders and carried around the room… ok that part isn’t true, but everyone was freaking impressed and I solidified my rep once and for all. I am cool!