The doctor is in

You know what’s awesome about being in therapy – it makes you feel like you are uniquely able to diagnose other people’s problems and then help them solve them. I’ve just been in treatment for three months and man do I know a lot about what’s wrong with you. I’m constantly pointing out people’s flaws, I spot them almost instantly. Like the lady who rang up my breakfast today was totally crabby, it’s obvious she had latent anger issues, probably resulting from her father leaving her at a young age to marry some young chicky. And then there’s a work associate of mine, she’s such a mega biatch that it’s obvious she has an inferiority disorder because she was teased in school for being overweight and didn’t have friends, and now takes it out on everyone who works under her. Don’t even get my started on why I think my boyfriend smokes, or why one of my BFs can’t find a man. Your issues are so obvious to me now, it’s crazy. I’d offer up helpful suggestions but I’ve found most people don’t appreciate the advice. I’m pretty sure that after a few more sessions I’ll be able to kick shrinkette to the curb and set up my own practice. Friends and family, if you do decide you need some expert advice give me a ring, turns out I’m very insightful – my shrink told me so.