The Pope and the President should not come to NY.

For the record, I have nothing against the Pope, I’m sure he’s all full of good deeds and nice catholic values and everything, but there’s like no reason for him to come to NYC. Our little island is already crowded as it is. We tried to pass congestion pricing to ease traffic, but it was blocked. Maybe you haven’t noticed but we’ve already got a lot of people here. Walking down 5^th Ave in midtown at noon is like being stuck in an elevator with 25 oversized men with cameras. All we need now is to close a ton of streets, bring in a million pilgrims who want to see the guy and make life in the city even more annoying. Not to mention the fact that it’s an important Jewish holiday this weekend, and all of this hullabaloo makes it harder to get around for that. We were blessed by Jesus with amazing technology that can beam live images of basically anyone around the world with just the click of a button. Are you telling me the U.N. doesn’t have this capability? Pope John Paul whatever could have been sitting comfortably in his Vatican chamber, licking a big ‘ole gelato and telling us that abortion is bad without even having to make the long trek. Was that even considered as an option? If the guy needs to travel, why can’t we send him somewhere that’s a slightly smaller traffic nightmare, I’m sure Dover, Delaware could benefit from a visit. I say, wrap this little jaunt up by lunchtime and let’s close our borders to Popes, Presidents, The Beckhams – basically anyone who could cause more traffic.

Oh, and what's with the hat?