Tot on the turnpike - never a good thing

Let me tell you about my ride home to Philly this weekend for the Passover Seder. Let me preface by saying I didn’t have to chip in for the car, and was picked up and dropped off, etc etc, so it was very generous of my sis and bro-in-law… That said, the ride sucked and here’s why.

Get picked up around 3, much later then we usually take the trek to Philly, but fine none-the-less, I got in a trip to the gym before the ride. They pull up in a rented two-door mustang. Not exactly the mid-sized vehicle we were expecting. Of course the trunk is full up of baby crap, stroller, bags, toys, etc. I am able to squeeze in my tiny little overnight bag and get the trunk closed. Giant baby in giant baby seat take up the back passenger side, while sis sits next to her also covered in baby toys, baby clothes, baby bags, etc. I somehow manage to wiggle my way into the front passenger side with knees firmly touching front console, can’t move front seat back any more because baby car seat takes up too much room. On top of me is my oversized pet carrier for undersized Chihuahua. I manage to strap in and we’re off, a mere 45 minutes later we make it to the tunnel. Ride is relatively smooth, baby whines so sister puts food in her mouth. Starting to get really hungry, gym trip has kicked in and metabolism is in overdrive, want to get home fast. We near exit 8, normally about 20 mins from destination point, when major traffic hits, we’re in stop and go mode for at least half an hour, baby whines, sister puts food in her mouth. We inch closer to rest stop think about pulling over for pre-Seder burger but decided we’re too late to stop. All of the sudden after my sister puts a large spoonful of mashed sweet potatoes into baby’s mouth we hear a loud, popping, gurgling sound. Potential diaper incident, but soon after two more big burping then sloshing sounds. Baby projectile vomits over herself, all her toys, car seat, seat belts, sister’s skirt, etc. Sister looks on amazed and paralyzed. Without easy access to wipes and towels baby sits in pile of vomit. Baby begins to wail. Over the next 15 minutes in awful traffic, bro-in-law makes our way over to rest stop. We pull over get baby naked, wipe her down, do our best to remove soiled items before we need to strap her back in to drive the rest of the way. Baby whines, sister does not feed her. Car reeks of vomit. An hour later we’re home. It was not a fun trip. Next time I’ll consider the train, but then you have all the stranger burping and smells, so there’s really no good options. Instead parents should move to NY.

Unhappily at rest stop, sans burger, not a good time for photos.

Happily at rest stop, changed out of puke clothes.