Sea pee

I like to think of myself as an adventurous person, I jumped out of a freaking plane once. Most things don't gross me out, except for maybe a big blob of mayo on a sandwich or giant burps at the dinner table. Other than that I don't get spooked too easy, but there is something about swimming in the ocean that just gives me the willies. There are little slimy squirmy fish everywhere and icky sea weeds and sometimes they brush by your leg or get tangled around your foot and it's totally scary. So it took me a while to get up the nerve to swim in the sea on our little vaca this weekend. After baking in the sun for hours, I finally got hot enough to take the dive, and tip toed my way into the water. And then of course I instantly realized I had to pee. So what you gonna do, crawl out of the water, towel off, drudge through the sand find a public bathroom to wrestle off a sopping wet suit... no that was out of the question. But with three pina coladas just swimming around in my blatter I had to make a move. There's the rub, to pea in the sea or not to pee. I decided to go for it. Way bigger fish then me have probably peed in the water and no one notices, I'm sure it won't be a big deal. But you know after years of learning to hold it in until you get to a proper potty, it's not so easy to let go. I waded there for a good while trying to concentrate on loosening everything up and letting go, while watching out for mysterious sea creatures of course. When my body couldn't hold it in any more, I finally was able to pee, and boy was it a relief. After that first time it was easy, so every time I had to go, I just popped into the water instead of heading back to the hotel. Then I realized, we're in the Carribean - the water is totally clear - so when I pee, there is a huge circle of yellow water around me - and I'm not the only one who noticed, it was a crowded beach. Awful right. And I figure I'm not the only one who must pee in the ocean, everyone does it right?! So I'm done with the water, between the gross fish and urine, I'm better off in the heated, swim-up bar pool. If anyone pees in there at least it's chlorinated, plus it's easier to get to the pina coladas.