I have a suburban gripe. I think something is being omitted from driver's tests these days. It's the old "Left lane is for fast passing, right lane is for slow-moving," adage. These days, anything goes on the open road, and I really couldn't be angrier. Today I had a few particular encounters worth sharing.
The first was a dude in his Honda Accord, cruising at about 63 in a 65 mph zone - in the fast lane - playing air drums with actual drumsticks, while he drove.
The second was with a woman who was born before cars were even invented, driving a Lexus sedan - in the fast lane - with her hazards on, driving about 50.
The third was the worst. It was a beat up Mazda, sans rearview mirror (I suppose this could be his excuse for not knowing there's 45 cars on his ass) driving with his lady and his baby in the backseat. In the fast lane, WITH NO REAR VIEW MIRRORS.
I think there needs to be a tax for the left lane. Or at least certain requirements that must be posted up (like carpool lanes):
1) You must have a car that is at least 10 years or younger. Sorry gramps, but that 1072 cavalier is not going above 60. Get over it and move to the right.
2) You should not be a member of AARP.
3) You should not have infants in your car. Anything in your car should be old enough to be facing forward.
4) If you see me riding your tailfeathers, that is basically the equivalent of me screaming in your ear saying "WTF is wrong with your dumb ass - move the hell out of the way!"
Thank you for listening. This has been a public servicette announcement.
The first was a dude in his Honda Accord, cruising at about 63 in a 65 mph zone - in the fast lane - playing air drums with actual drumsticks, while he drove.
The second was with a woman who was born before cars were even invented, driving a Lexus sedan - in the fast lane - with her hazards on, driving about 50.
The third was the worst. It was a beat up Mazda, sans rearview mirror (I suppose this could be his excuse for not knowing there's 45 cars on his ass) driving with his lady and his baby in the backseat. In the fast lane, WITH NO REAR VIEW MIRRORS.
I think there needs to be a tax for the left lane. Or at least certain requirements that must be posted up (like carpool lanes):
1) You must have a car that is at least 10 years or younger. Sorry gramps, but that 1072 cavalier is not going above 60. Get over it and move to the right.
2) You should not be a member of AARP.
3) You should not have infants in your car. Anything in your car should be old enough to be facing forward.
4) If you see me riding your tailfeathers, that is basically the equivalent of me screaming in your ear saying "WTF is wrong with your dumb ass - move the hell out of the way!"
Thank you for listening. This has been a public servicette announcement.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment